Preparing for Week 1

Questions to Ask? 
*Take the time to answer these questions.  Use the questions to guide what you choose to do as your experiment for this week.  

Does my husband desire me?

Yes, my husband does desire me.  He always tells me how pretty I am and other sweet stuff like that.  He would be up for bedroom stuff every night.  The issue is more me letting him act on those desires.  I need to meet his needs instead of just shutting him down all the time.

Does my husband approve of the way I run the house? Does he approve of how I spend my time?

My husband approves of the way I run the house and is thankful for what I do.  I'm very efficient and I have a pretty good system down. I would say that 90% of the time my husband approves of what I'm doing with my day.  I do have lazy days when I basically just sit around all day and do nothing.  I've noticed that on the days when I do nothing and the house is a wreck my husband is more short-tempered with me and not as friendly.  On the days when my husband comes home and the house is spotless and dinner's already on the table, my husband is nicer and more fun to be around.  I get the same way though, when everything is neat I'm happier.

Do I have high moral standards? Am I honest, hardworking, kind, loving, etc? Do I keep my mind and heart pure and away from evil?

This is probably one area where I need to do better.  In some areas I do have high moral standards.  I'm honest.  I'm hardworking.  I could be better when it comes to being kind and loving.  Sometimes I have a hard time showing my love.  I keep my mind and heart pure and away and evil when it comes to really bad stuff.  I don't read or watch anything erotic or violent but I do sometimes watch shows like, "Modern Family", "The Middle", "Suburgatory", etc.  Those shows aren't necessarily "evil" but they don't really encourage me as a Christian.  They also show me another version of family life that doesn't necessarily go along with what the Bible says about family.  This will be one thing I work on this week.  I'm going to try not to spend time doing things that don't align with my Christian values and build me up. 

Do people see a Christian when they look at me?

I'm not sure about this one.  The people who know me, know that I'm a Christian.  The problem is I don't really interact with a lot of people during the day.  There are weeks when the only people I see are my husband and daughter.  I can work on acting more like Christ when I'm out though.  I can show random strangers kindness.  I can be friendly.  I can let my family that don't live near us know that I love them by taking the time to call or send a note. 

Am I being chaste? Am I staying out of situations I shouldn't be in?

Yes, I do not struggle with this one.

Does my husband respect me? Do I deserve that respect?

Yes, my husband respects me.  There are time when he doesn't treat me right but the majority of the time he is loving and supportive.  I think about half of the time, no, I don't deserve that respect.  After I've had a difficult day with my daughter, the last thing I want to do when my husband gets home is ask him how his day was.  I sometimes don't look at him when he's talking or listen very well.  Most of the time, my time spent with him is also spent doing other stuff.  This will be something I work on this week.  I'm going to try to be more respectful to my husband and be more present when I'm with him.

Do I have the ability to be a good wife? Do I understand all the things that go into running a house?

Yes, I do have the ability to be a good wife.  I'm good at cleaning, organizing, and cooking.  I'm super-obsessed with cleaning and organizing.  I understand what goes into running a house.  I would say the area I struggle most is the financial side of things.  I don't think that I'm going to work on that this week though.  I might focus on that during a later week.

Do I have the ability to keep up with the physical demands of being a wife?  Am I too run down at the end of the day to spend time with my husband?  Am I performing at my maximum efficiency?

I can generally get through the day without too much problem.  My problem is that I get a burst of energy at the end of the day so I stay up late.  This leads to me being grumpy in the morning.  This week I will focus on going to bed at a reasonable hour.

Am I continually trying to improve as a wife?

Yes, I'm always looking for ways to improve! 

Is everything I do good?

Definitely NOT! 

Am I like all the other mothers of the world?  Would I say that I perform better or worse than the average mother?

Not really, for one I'm a lot younger than most moms.  The majority of moms who have kids my age are in their late 20s or early 30s and I'm only 23.  Another thing that sets me apart is that I have chosen to stay home with my daughter.  This is becoming more common but a lot of people still feel that moms should get jobs and help support their family.  I'm not really sure if I perform better or worse.  Compared to the moms I see on TV, I think I do better.  Compared to moms I know in the real world, I think I probably do about the same.  Compared to some moms I know in church, I think I do worse.  




Application:
*These are just suggestions.  PLEASE do not try to do ALL of these.  Pick 1 or 2 that you struggle with the most.

1. Make yourself desirable to your husband.
2. Ask your husband how he thinks your doing running the house.  Take his suggestions and try to improve.  If he says you're doing a good job, GREAT! Keep it up!
3. Write down everything you do in one day.  Go over your list and see where you're wasting time. Try to make sure everything you do builds up you or your family.  (NO TRASHY TV!)
4. Read what the Bible says about Christian character.  Pick one character trait that you can work on this week.
5. This week keep your mind and heart away from evil things.  If you spend a lot of time watching daytime television, think of ways you can spend that time better.  If you read a lot of trashy magazines, spend that time reading Christian non-fiction or fiction, or even better, The Bible.  Try to make sure that everything you expose yourself to is positive and uplifting. 
6. Examine yourself.  Do you act like a christian? Do people in your life KNOW that you are christian?  If not, take this week to make sure the world knows what you believe.  Go out of your way to show the love of Christ. 
7. If you're not behaving appropriately around the opposite sex, take this week, or even longer to fix it.  Try to figure out why you are seeking attention from other men.  Try to not get into situations where you are alone with other men.  Always have another person there who can hold you accountable. 
8. Think about your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to overall housekeeping.  Write down the things you could improve.  Pick one to work on this week.  This could be cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc.  
9. This week focus on eating right, going to bed on time, and taking time daily for physical activity. Don't do so much that you're too tired to spend time with your family at the end of the day.
10. Go back to the list you made in step 8, pick one of the things you think you do best.  Think of ways you can do this even better.  Go to the library or bookstore or go online and see if anyone else has a more efficient way of doing things.  
11. Research what society thinks is a good wife.  Research what the bible says about wives.  Which one are you more like?  

What I'm going to work on this week:

Making sure the things I watch and read, lift me up.  Try to stay away from TV shows, movies, books, and music that don't have Christian values.  

I'm going to be more respectful towards my husband.  I'm going to look at him when he's talking, actually listen to him, and not being doing something else.  I'm going to unplug from technology at night and just spend my time being with him.  

This week I'm going to try to go to bed on-time! Atleast, before midnight.

Week 1: Verse 10 Explained

Verse 10: A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.

The hebrew word used in the place of noble was, "chayil".  It means, "might, strength, power, able, valiant, virtuous, valor, army, host, forces, riches, substance, wealth."  This word occurs, "244 times in the Hebrew Old Testament".  In the majority of the cases the word meant, "strength, army, and wealth".

Other words used in place of NOBLE in other bible versions:

• Good: "to be desired or approved of"
• Virtuous: "having or showing high moral standards, chaste"
• Worthy: "deserving effort, attention, or respect"
• Capable: "having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing"
• Intelligence: "the ability to acquire knowledge and skills"
• Competent: "having the necessary ability, knowledge, or skill to do something successfully"
• Excellent: "extremely good, outstanding" 
• Strong Character: "strong mental and moral qualities"

The Proverbs 31 Woman:

1. A wife whose husband desires and approves of her.
2. A wife who has high moral standards.
3. A wife who is chaste (abstaining from extramarital sexual intercourse).
4. A wife who deserves her husband's effort, attention, or respect.
5. A wife who has the ability, fitness, and quality necessary to be a wife and mother.
6. A wife who has the necessary ability to learn new ways to be a better wife and mother.
7. A wife who is extremely good.
8. A wife who is outstanding.
9. A wife who has strong mental and moral qualities.

Main Ideas:
The Proverbs 31 woman's husband desired and approved of her.  I'm sure he wanted to be around her.  He approved of how she spent her time.

The Proverbs 31 woman wasn't just a great wife, she was a great person all around.  She had high moral standards.  I take this to mean that she was honest, hardworking, kind, loving, etc.  I picture her as the embodiment of all the things that christian woman are supposed to be.

The Proverbs 31 woman was chaste.  She didn't stray from her husband. She didn't even put herself in those kind of situations.  She was not the kind of woman who would be messaging old boyfriends on Facebook or casually flirting with strangers.  She kept all of that for her husband.

The Proverbs 31 woman is respected by her husband. Her husband shows her attention.  Her husband WANTS to do things for her.

 The Proverbs 31 woman had the ability and fitness to be a wife.  She knew the things she needed to do and she had the stamina to get it done.

It doesn't say this in the passage but I'm sure the Proverbs 31 woman was always trying to figure out ways that she could improve or do something better.

The Proverbs 31 woman was a good person, everything she did was good. The Proverbs 31 woman was outstanding.  She wasn't just a normal a wife, she was like a super wife.









To do my research I generally use:

The Women's Devotional Bible by Zondervan
Unger's Bible Handbook
Hebrew-Greek Keyword Study Bible
The Zondervan NIV Study Bible

The quotations above were taken from the Hebrew-Greek Keyword Study Bible.

Introduction to the Experiment

The experiment will be 21 weeks long.  I thought a lot about whether I wanted to actually do the experiment and then post my results or if I wanted to post as I go along.  I think it would be more helpful to actually post as I go along.  Please feel free to comment if you interpret something differently or have a better way to apply something.

The following list is just a rough list.  As I start researching all of the verses I may find that a verse means something differently than I originally thought.  The way I am going to do the experiment is that I will do all of the research for a verse and then the following week I will start implementing the things I learned.  I will probably choose one main idea to focus on each week even if the verse talks about multiple things.  I will post a "result" post after I finish each week.

Week 1: She is noble.

Week 2: Husband has confidence in her.

Week 3: Brings her husband good not harm.

Week 4: She works with eager hands.

Week 5: She brings her food from afar.

Week 6: She gets up early to provide food for her family.

Week 7: She makes money from her investments.

Week 8: She sees that her trading is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.

Week 9: In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

Week 10: She provides for the less fortunate.

Week 11: Her household is clothed in high quality clothes.

Week 12: She makes coverings for her bed; She is clothed in fine line and purple.

Week 13: Her husband is respected.

Week 14: She makes things and sells them.

Week 15: She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Week 16: She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Week 17: She watches over her household.  She does not eat the bread of idleness.

Week 18: Her children call her blessed.  Her husband blesses her.

Week 19: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

Week 20: She fears the Lord.

Week 21: Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

Introduction To Me and Why I'm Doing This Experiment

A Little Bit About Me:
My name is Lauren.
I'm 23.
I have been married for almost 3 years.
I have a 2 year old baby girl.
I am currently staying home full-time with my daughter.
I'm attending a community college to get my Associate's in communications.
I plan on transferring to a university next fall to get my Bachelor's in communications.
I have a great love for books and reading.
I live in North Carolina.

Why I'm Doing This Experiment:
I'm doing this experiment because I want to be a better wife and mother.  I also want to please God in the way that I tackle my daily roles.  Things aren't bad in my marriage but they could probably be better.  The passion that I have for my husband is less than it used to be.  I still love my husband with my whole heart but I just feel like our relationship is different.  I want to put the passion back in my marriage.  I also want my husband to think I'm the greatest thing ever!!  I never want to look back on my life and wish I was a better mother or wife.  I want to start implementing this stuff now BEFORE our marriage starts to get hard.

I struggle with depression and I can be very moody.  Before I got the idea to do this experiment, my husband and I were going through a rough patch.  I was being grumpy constantly.  I wasn't keeping up with cleaning or cooking.  I wasn't being patient and loving with my husband and daughter.  I was miserable and I felt "stuck" at home.  I was frustrated with the way I was feeling because I really feel like God has called me to be at home.  I started to think about all the things I don't like about my husband and everything that would make my life easier.  Then it suddenly hit me.  It was MY fault that I was struggling so much.  Things were strained in my marriage because I wasn't treating my husband with the respect and love he deserves.  My daughter was being extremely fussy and difficult because I wasn't taking the time to play and spend time with her.  I wasn't keeping up with my housework because I was looking at it as a chore instead of as a way to bless my family.  I was frustrated with not making money and helping out the family financially because I started to want things that the world says I should have.

I started praying about my situation and I decided that I should see what the Bible said about being a wife and mother.  I found Proverbs 31 and knew that this was the woman that I wanted to mold my life after.  This woman could do everything! I decided that I would focus on one verse a week and record my experiences.  At the end of the 22 weeks I could look back and see how much things had improved.

I hope you enjoy reading about my journey.  I encourage you to join along and share your experience!